wOrKiNg LiFe oF mIne..

my working life started on 10th Jun 2006 as a part of R&D engineering department..in a japanese factory of printer production..

never have i imagine how life would be like as a so-called engineer..

well…i had to admit that the first day of my first job, i cried once i got in the car after work…until now, i don’t know where the tears come from…

the feeling was like ‘rojak’…with ingredients of sad+confuse+shock+doubt+scared and lots more…

what i had in mind while studying in the university was like…i will be working in the office, designing and testing and inventing products and that i will be useful to the company….however, the scenario is totally different and that contributes to shock+confuse and scared..

in the first day working in the factory, i had a factory visit where i believe that this factory is medium large with 2 buildings and 3 floors of production purpose…i was totally clueless that the environment would be so scary where during that time, soldering machine, big printers, heavy parts and production line would be a part of my working life…meaning.. a part of my life..the most terrifying part was that i saw women carrying heavy boxes and doing works that should be done by.. i supposed..MeN..

i was also shocked with the number of japanese people in the factory and the number of malaysian who are able to communicate in japanese and the sad thing was my inability of communicating in japanese and that has been…i guess..a border between me and the management…<–negative thoughts which is very difficult to erase..

the feelings took quite some time to fade away or should i say adapt to my life..

now…after approximately 4 months of staying here in this factory where i thought that i would be more comfortable to this place…nevertheless i cried again for the second time in my working life…

this time it was because how small i feel and that how shallow my knowledge is compared to others..especially the japanese..

i was angry and still am angry to myself for not having the faith and strength to stand up again after falling down…i had made for me a major loss to the company where the amount is still being calculated….the job or responsibility of an engineer is much more bigger that i have ever thought..and that one single mistake might cause losses and might bring harm to the people..

i feel very sad when i start thinking of my ‘failure’ yesterday…and i really hope that the loss i brought to the company pays the knowledge i gained which i will be able to contribute to the company in the future..

i also hoping for myself to regain confidence and stregths to overcome the problems and settle my mistakes and that i wont do massive mistakes again in the future..

may Allah grant me with patience and strengths for me to continue the journey of life…

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